Tonight was the night; the night I worried about, the night that has been keeping me up--the night that I have to look at it...the Roman-Daja scene. I knew I had to get through it, and be the director for the cast. I knew I had to get it right, and run it more than once.
Was it easy? Not all the way. But, I am so blessed with this cast; these beautiful people that walk with me, that trust me, that go there with me--it makes it easier. I'm not by myself. It didn't matter that I unexpectedly saw a huge picture of my violator today of all days. It didn't haunt me, it didn't stop me. I did it. I got through it. I did it! I am so grateful because I do have the best possible Roman I can have. I have a big-hearted, loving man playing Roman. And I need that. The cast needs that. He was worth the wait.
Different from other rehearsal closings, we did something I picked up from Grassroots Aspen Experience; with a man that I admire and respect dearly, Derek Canty. There's an inner circle and an outer circle, and the people thank each other using only their eyes. I couldn't figure out the circle thing...lol, but we did it. I needed to thank everyone tonight for their work and presence. I don't think any of them know what it means to me. What this journey has been, how much of my life Firstborn has consumed. And now, the work, the words, the love is manifesting. Ashe...
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