So here was my chinese horoscope yesterday: Tiffany, A spiritual insight comes to you with great power, and it brings a burden of responsibility for leadership. Others will be looking to you for inspiration or guidance, and you need to walk a fine line between "teacher" and "guru". Make them be responsible for their own choices.
At first I was like, "hmm, interesting." Last night's bonding session with Roman and Claudine was really intense and powerful for me. I have been wanting to work on their complexity as individuals and as a couple. What I find is, just as hard as it was for me to write Roman; it is hard for someone to play Roman. I don't know why I thought whomever I cast wouldn't really struggle with the character.
When I talked to Andre, and he disclosed that he was having issues with it, it reminded me of how painful and hardcore it was to write Roman--make him real, and human. I wrestled with that for years, battled with him; sometimes he was so much more powerful than I was, I feared him for such a long time. I had to find a way inside him--not to agree with his actions, or justify them; but to understand him and his role in the story. It took years for me to realize that Roman was a paper tiger. That he looked scary, and when I got up close, it wasn't the boogey man I thought it was.
So I do have a responsibility to my cast; to facilitate a performance that is honest and real, and is balanced. I guess I just realized last night the work that is REALLY ahead of me. I'm just thankful that I am so ready for it...
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